April 2012
March 2012
Dear Tumblr,
Your queue limit SUCKS. K, thanks for listening. C:
Pink Zebra Ninja Shoes →
Yesterday my mom posted a picture on Facebook of my 5 year old brother Sam wearing a pair of shoes he picked out for his first day of preschool.
She explained to him in the store that they were really made for girls. Sam then told her that he didn’t care and that “ninjas can wear pink shoes too.”
Sam went to preschool and got several compliments on his new shoes. Not one kid said anything...
“We have our own equipment, but we’re not bringing it with us… But seeing as we...”
– A client of mine, either lazy or thrifty—I can’t tell (via clientsfromhell)
“These days, I’m using the Mozzarella one… With the fire.”
– Client, when asked what internet browser he’s been using (via clientsfromhell)
“We would like to get notifications for unplanned outages 3-4 days in advance.”
– A client who doesn’t understand the definition of “unplanned.” (via clientsfromhell)
The joy of being a designer over the holidays →
clientsfromhell:
Client: I need you to reformat this so that it matches our new marketing and logo redesign.
Me: Okay. Can you send the new logo and some samples of your new marketing?
Client: Oh, we’re still deciding on that internally. Can’t you just take a few guesses in the meantime?
clientsfromhell:
I was at the airport, ready to leave for vacation when I got a panicked phone call from a client. She stated that the video I sent her - part of a large marketing campaign - was missing the sound. After a lot of shouting and threats on her part, I agreed to go to her office try and fix it.
After being escorted into her office, I played the video and double-checked her...
clientsfromhell:
Client: I’m not paying for your work
Me: Is there a reason?
Client: I just don’t want to pay.
Me: Well, you have to pay for my work, even if you don’t use it. You agreed to a contract.
Client: What are you going to do if I don’t pay?
Me: I’ll be forced to get my solicitor involved
Client: Oh… I don’t like the sounds of that. How much will it cost to make this go away?
Me:...
clientsfromhell:
Client: We really want the design to be modern and cutting edge graphically. Big “wow-factor.” It needs to look very modern. Me: Great! Do you have any design ideas in mind, or examples of sites you like? I notice the original design has an image-slider, do - Client: We actually don’t want any images on the site at all anymore. Me: None? Client: We want the site design to look...
clientsfromhell:
A client rang me to tell me that the changes he’d asked for on his site were not appearing on his screen.
Me: It seems everything is there. Try refreshing?
Client: No, I still can’t see it.
Me: Are you sure? Try pressing Ctrl+F5 instead, there may be a cached version in your browser.
Client: No, I still can’t see it.
Me: What browser are you using to view the site?
...
Clients From Hell: Client: The VP did a three hour... →
clientsfromhell:
Client: The VP did a three hour speech that needs to be cut down to 30 minutes and I need a VHS on my desk in a half hour.
Me: I can’t possibly make that deadline. Also, are you sure you don’t want a DVD?
Client: You are so negative! Why can’t you do it?
Me: I can’t cut down a 3 hour…
“Can you replace all the red with blue or aqua? We want a warmer look.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
Client: The text is not black enough.
Me: It is set as ‘Black’ in the style sheet….
Client: Ok, but can you make it blacker than that black?
Me: Hold on, I’ll try something. Give me an hour.
I went to lunch.
Me: Okay, can you refresh your browser now?
Client: Yes, thats better, thanks.
“We would like to draw flames on the cover don’t use a picture! But could you...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Clients From Hell: At 3am, after finishing a... →
clientsfromhell:
At 3am, after finishing a website template for a client who had to have it “by 6am their time,” I sent an email letting her know that it was finished. The next day I get a call:
Client: I don’t appreciate you staying out all night when you should be working on my project.
Me: I’m sorry? I was…
